I Had Botox… Secretly.
I didn’t exactly lie about it—I just didn’t openly admit it to many people. If any. Ta-da! Shadow reveal!
To be fair, this was 7 to 10 years ago, back when Botox wasn’t nearly as mainstream… so no one asked. Would I have admitted it if they had? Not sure.
Here’s how it started: About five years earlier, a few friends in their 20s began doing it preemptively to prevent wrinkles. I didn’t totally get it—but to each their own. Then, when I started noticing fine lines forming on my forehead, I thought, Okay… maybe I should get ahead of this too.
So in 2016, I started getting ‘baby’ Botox. My forehead became a dream—smooth, plump, no scowl lines, no wrinkles. Just blissfully beautiful skin. I felt amazing and genuinely happy with the results.
2017 Blissfully Botoxed forehead
At first, I got treatments every five months. But gradually, the effects started wearing off faster. By 2018—the year I got married—I was going every three months.
What began as simple forehead touch-ups eventually expanded to my crow’s feet.
I never even told my husband (he’ll probably read about it for the first time in this post—hi, my love!), or my best friend, or even my mom, to be honest. Eeek. Hi!
On my wedding day and my last time having Botox.
After we got married and started preparing to have a baby, I stopped Botox entirely. Once it wore off, I noticed my forehead looked worse than before I started. I was confused—wasn’t this supposed to be preventative?
Naturally, I blamed myself. I chalked it up to having my dad’s skin rather than my mom’s beautiful Latin complexion. And to be fair, I do have my father’s skin. He was an exceptionally handsome man—with deep expression lines. I’ve inherited the exact same ones. My mom even says I came out of the womb with all my dad’s lines.
So it doesn’t surprise me that my skin looks this way… but I genuinely believe Botox accelerated the process, especially around my forehead and crow’s feet.
My parents, note my mother is 7 years older than my dad with hardly a wrinkle at 60 and proudly, no work done.
That said, I felt a little crazy thinking this—especially when so many others were still using Botox preventatively and looking amazing. I envied their smooth skin and often wished I could still do it. But I can’t bring myself to go back. Not at this stage.
Lately, more stories have been surfacing about Botox toxicity—particularly among women who actively detox their lymphatic systems. The idea is that once your lymph is functioning optimally, the botulinum toxin can move more freely through the body, potentially causing discomfort.
What really validated my experience was learning that new research shows long-term Botox use can lead to facial muscle atrophy. That was a huge oh, I’m not crazy moment for me.
Obviously, I’m not a scientist—this is just my experience. I’m not saying everyone will have the same reaction, and yes, genetics absolutely play a role. But it felt important to finally say: I don’t think Botox worked for me.
My dad’s skin at 35, basically (how I see) my skin is now.
My skin is still a work in progress. I’ve revealed enough shadow for one day, so I won’t post a photo right now—but let’s just say I haven’t quite settled into the acceptance phase. I have visible forehead wrinkles, elevens, crow’s feet (which don’t really bother me), and sun spots galore. Ufff… saying that felt intense. The shadow is real.
For context, there were years when I couldn’t even look at my skin in the mirror, let alone talk about it. So consider yourself part of the inner circle now. And thank god for EMDR.
So—what am I doing about all of this? A few things.
Postpartum, things were looking a bit dire. I went to a naturopath who specializes in skin rejuvenation, and she told me my only option was fillers. That felt disheartening.
Maybe fillers are amazing for some people—but I don’t want to rely on ongoing injections to feel and look my best. (And whats will all the naturopaths these days doling out botox and fillers?!) I want sustainable, holistic solutions that work for my body, budget, and lifestyle. I decided to keep keep looking.
So here’s what I’ve tried, and what I’m currently experimenting with.
What I’ve Tried—and Would Not Do Again:
Morpheus8 (Radiofrequency + Microneedling)
I heard great things from women in the biohacking space I trust, but I didn’t notice any improvement. It’s one of those trendy treatments that gets hyped—and then quietly debunked.
Radiofrequency
This heats deeper layers of the skin to stimulate change. I did notice a short-term glow during a month when I had weekly sessions. But like Morpheus8, the more I research it, the more I question its long-term safety and effectiveness.
What I’m On the Fence About:
Microneedling
I’ve done several intense sessions. They may help a little, but the results haven’t been significant for me. I also haven’t found a practitioner in my area I fully trust, so I do them infrequently. Some people swear by it—it just hasn’t moved the needle (pun intended) for me.
BBL Laser
There’s compelling research suggesting it’s one of the best skin rejuvenation options. And I’ve seen incredible results on others. But after five sessions, my three most prominent dark spots are still there. Maybe I need more consistency… or more sunscreen… or something else. Jury’s still out.
What I’ll Keep Doing:
Keep in mind—this is coming from someone who definitely hasn’t figured it all out. I’m still searching, sometimes desperately, for the fountain of youth.
Eating well. No brainer. I eat a relatively high protein diet, including meats and organ meats for the fat soluble vitamins, mostly veggies for the flavonoids and anti-inflammatory effects, high fiber to support daily detox, a good amount of liquids and specific skin supplements.
Blood sugar balancing. Post partum I defintely leaned into the honey a bit more than normal, without payin attention to my blood sugar balance. I don’t have an issue with natural sugars in moderation and after protein, before a workout. But too much sugar can lead to premature aging, characterized by wrinkles, sagging, and a loss of firmness due to the formation of advanced glycation end products (AGEs) that damage collagen and elastin. Eek.
Real-Life Examples of Women Aging Gracefully
This is HUGE for me. I have to keep reminding myself that this is a long game. I look to women who’ve aged relatively naturally—as far as I can tell—and I always prefer that look over those who’ve tried to hold back time.
Women like Emma Thompson, Keira Knightley (so far at least), Sarah Jessica Parker, and even Judi Dench in all her wrinkled glory. I don’t look to the Nicole Kidmans or Demi Moores of the world—no shade at all, to each their own. I just deeply admire the look of a woman who has aged with grace.
One of my favorite expanders is a dear friend of my mother’s—my tía Luzia—who is almost 80. She has aged so beautifully. Every time I see her, I’m inspired. Her glow, her positivity, and her zest for life are things I strive for.
Daily Face Massage
This takes commitment, but I’ve found someone I really trust who offers daily videos and monthly deep dives. When I do it consistently, my skin genuinely looks and feels better. The key: you have to stick with it.
Lyma Laser
This is an at-home cold laser that penetrates 808 nm into the skin. After a 10–20 minute session, I do see a visible difference—it mimics the look of Botox. It’s a steep investment, but since I rarely get facials, it’s something I can use daily and travel with.
Functional Skincare
I’m experimenting with a few brands and will share more once I see long-term results. Right now, I’m focusing on ingredients like NAD, spermidine, and other longevity nutrients. One standout for me is Marie Veronique’s Retinol Serum. High-quality retinol can stimulate collagen and elastin, and I’ve noticed fewer blemishes and softer, clearer skin overall.
Lymphatic Stimulation
I dry brush before showers, bounce on a rebounder, put my legs up the wall, and exercise regularly. These simple practices help move lymph, support detoxification, and enhance nutrient absorption. Small actions—big results.
What I Want to Try:
Peptides
While I’m still in fertility mode, I’m holding off. But once I’m past the postpartum phase, I’m definitely planning to explore this. I’ve tried a peptide cream called One Skin, which contains OS-01, a peptide meant to reduce wrinkles over time. I’ve used it for a month—no noticeable difference yet, but I’m keeping an open mind.
CACI Microcurrent Treatments
This is a series of 10 microcurrent sessions that’s supposed to be incredible for skin like mine. Unfortunately, there aren’t any practitioners near me. But once I’m in a place that offers it, I’m all in.
The Bottom Line
I’m still on the journey. I’m trying to support my skin from the inside out. Botox might work wonderfully for others—and that’s great. But for me, it didn’t turn out to be the magic solution I hoped for. I wish it had! Ahh, the joys of plumped-up skin…
And to all you beauties in your forties with naturally gorgeous skin—I see you, I admire you, and yes, I envy you.
Let’s normalize changing our minds. Let’s normalize evolving. And let’s definitely normalize talking about it—no more secrets.
And if you have any suggestions for glowing, radiant skin—I’m all ears!