Pause, what a pleasure.

For most of my life, I've been consumed by the physical world, and to be brutally honest, a lot of that obsession was rooted in my own self-interest (I’m a triple Leo, after all). In my teens, I fixated on boys and my appearance, and that focus only deepened in my 20s with an intense emphasis on health and wellness, especially nutrition and exercise. By my 30s, it shifted to the environment around me—where I lived and how I presented myself through my clothes.

While all of this was fine in its own way, there was little room for the mystical side of life. It wasn’t that I wasn’t interested in spirituality, but I simply hadn’t found something that really resonated with me. I practiced yoga, and although some aspects made sense, I focused on the physical. I also went to church with my Aunt whenever I visited London, which exposed me to a more practical form of Christianity, quite different from the dull and uninspiring Catholic (sporadic) masses of my childhood. I explored plant medicines, worked with energy healers, sat in silent mediation retreats for days on end, all in an attempt to find my connection the divine, but nothing truly stuck.

A little over a year ago, I began studying Astrology, Human Design, and Feng Shui—tools to align with the energies of the universe. Despite the spiritual elements within the energetic systems, they didn’t offer the direct connection to the divine I was seeking. That’s when I discovered Kabbalah.

I stumbled upon it through a book, Kabbalistic Astrology by Rav Berg, and the way it spoke about spirituality hit me right away. It gave me practical tools to connect with the unseen energies around us. Kabbalah isn’t a religion, but an ancient wisdom that shares the secrets of the universe, offering insights to help us improve our lives and find lasting fulfillment. In fact, the word "Kabbalah" means "to receive," which I found deeply resonant.

The Kabbalist philosophy teaches that we’re here to receive everything we’ve ever wanted, they go so far as to say that if we can imagine it, it is meant to be ours, but to do so, we must pass tests—big or small—that are presented to us by the divine. These tests might be as trivial as stubbing your toe or as life-changing as losing a substantial amount of money. Each test is an opportunity for growth, not through reaction, but through thoughtful response. The key is to pause when a test arises, reflect on what we can learn, and express gratitude to the divine for the opportunity to evolve. Each time a test arises, we pause, and say ‘what a pleasure’ (for the opportunity to grow).

In Kabbalah, this concept of pausing is referred to as "Restriction," and it’s one of the most powerful tools for personal growth. Restriction isn’t about self-denial; it’s about limiting our need for immediate reactions and gratification. When we do this, we align ourselves more with the "light"—the divine energy—and make space for blessings to flow into our lives. Everyone’s restriction will look different. An obvious example might be a workaholic who needs to limit their work hours, while someone prone to laziness may need to enforce a schedule. This concept extends to every aspect of life—eating, exercising, shopping, responding to others—anything we do to seek instant gratification needs to be reined in by pausing and redirecting our actions. And asking ourselves, am I being reactive or proactive?

The teachings of Kabbalah are vast and deep, but starting with this practice of restriction offers a profound way to transform reactive behaviours into intentional, proactive actions. Through this process, we grow, evolve, and ultimately receive the light that is meant for us.

And let me be completely clear, I am still very much into the physical world, this wisdom just gives it all meaning.